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Best Philosophy Jokes

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There are plenty of hilarious philosophy jokes out there, some of which could easily be incorporated as teaching materials, both for children and adults. Here is a little guide to them, which I look forward updating from time to time. Hence, suggestions are welcome!

Cathcart and Klein
Tom Cathcart and Dan Klein have most famously taught us, you may even understand philosophy through jokes. They wrote three books on the topic, each of which is highly recommended.

  • Their first one, Plato and Platypus Walk Into a Bar. Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes (2007), was a major hit; it breaks down jokes according to philosophy branches or broad topics (e.g. relativity).
  • The second one – Aristotle and an Aardvark Go to Washington (2008) – uses politicians’ most awkward talk to take up philosophical issues.
  • The third one, Heidegger and a Hippo Walk Through Those Pearly Gates: Using Philosophy (and Jokes!) to Explore Life, Death, the Afterlife, and Everything in Between (2009), is devoted to a philosophical topic: immortality.

History of Philosophy Jokes

  • The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher. The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.
  • Seen on a restroom wall: "God is dead: Nietzsche. Nietzsche is 
dead: God."
  • Overheard in 18th century England: "Did you hear that George 
Berkeley died? His girlfriend stopped seeing him."
  • What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vender? "Make me one 
with everything." 
What did the hot dog vender say when the Buddhist asked for his change? "Change comes from within."
  • Did you hear about the Buddhist who spilled his coffee while driving to work? He had bad kar-mug.
  • If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.

Epistemology Jokes

  • The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher. The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.
  • If a telephone rings in an empty room and no one is there to answer it, was there really a phone call? Help me investigate this phenomenon by leaving your name and number after the tone.
  • An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

Ethics Jokes

  • The thoroughly secular young attorney and the philosopher were engaged in fierce theological debate: "Heaven and hell, you will agree, may very well be separated by a wall," contended the lawyer. Should it happen that this wall would fall down, who would you say must rebuild it?" The righteous would insist that the wicked do it; the latter would likely refuse. If this case came before a judge, which do you believe would emerge the winner?" "It seems to me," replied the philosopher, "that any fair-minded judge would render a verdict against the wicked, since the likelihood is that the wall should crumble from the fires of hell rather than from the bliss of Paradise. "On the other hand," he concluded, "I fully realize that hell surely contains a full quota of glib-tongued lawyers, and I should therefore not be surprised if they won the case."

General Philosophy Jokes

  • The First Law of Philosophy: For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher. The Second Law of Philosophy: They're both wrong.

Further Online Readings

  • Cathcart and Klein’s official site.


  • Here goes a collection of philosophical humoristic pieces maintained by philosopher David Chalmers.


  • Philosopher Ron McClamrock has also a neat collection of jokes on his page, most of which overlap the one of Chalmers.
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